Diary Entry 20 July 2020
My cousin, Cole, and I had a sleepover yesterday. My sister Amy slept in my cousin’s, Melody’s, room and I slept in Cole’s room. My cousin and I have and always had an open relationship, which means, when we sleepover, we always talk about various things, for example, about love. We played a video game for a long time, which was really fun.
At midnight or so, we wanted to do something else instead of gaming. We decided to watch a movie. He suggested a few movies and we decided on a friendship-plus one, where they fall in love for real in the end. It was the most beautiful movie I have ever seen.
Today we got collected at 3pm. Mom and dad had planned for us to drive to a cathedral, – which me and my sisters didn’t know about. I was still so tired because me and Cole were awake until half five. I was quite angry at mom and dad, because I don’t really like going into churches, so I was already in a bad mood. When we were inside the cathedral, I stood by the door the whole time and cried, because I always get effected by the strong energy in churches or cathedrals. I just wanted to get out again.
Mom said they actually drove there purposefully for me, because our spiritual friend from India, Sasha, said that it was supposedly good for me. Anyway, I stood there crying, wearing sunglasses and waited for my family. When we went outside, I continued crying and didn’t speak a word with anyone. At first I thought it was because of the cathedral the entire time, or because I was angry at my parents, as all I wanted was to go back to Cole and Melody’s, and never go back to Ireland.
But in the car I listened to ‘One Direction’ on my iPod. They usually sing about love and then it came back to me. I started crying really hard – but without anyone being able to hear me. Why I was so sad, was because I wanted precisely what they had in the movie. I wanted to find my dream prince in Germany and desperately wanted to kiss him. I am lovesick – really heavily. As we arrived home again, I threw myself onto the bed and continued crying. I was so deeply lovesick. I desperately wanted what they had in the movie, and I wanted someone whom I could talk to about anything. With my parents I do talk about much, but not everything. I need someone else for that, and to kiss – I long for it so much, it physically hurts. “I want what they have in the movie”, I kept thinking and kept getting torn more and more. It was the nicest movie on earth and it suited me so well.
To be lovesick is ok, it hurts so much but you can’t forget, that somewhere, your dream person is waiting for you, and vice versa.
Thank you so much for reading, until the next time, Leona!
