Life
2023
I am life.
That’s what I’ve been told. That’s what I’ve read.
It makes sense to me, and even though it sounds so wonderful – a place where you are whole, at peace, lighting up the world – I just can’t fully grasp it. I feel pain. I feel sadness. It’s inside of me right now. I am envious of the enlightened. I want that. I really do. I can just imagine the peace, no pain, no suffering, no more lingering sadness. A place where you are whole, you don’t need anything else and it doesn’t feel like anything is missing.
My heart aches, sometimes it feels like a strong longing, I resist what is. I resist what is, and I try everything to be free. I want to be. I ask myself what I can do, I beg God to free me, but somehow it doesn’t work. What is missing?
Life is in every one of us, in everything that exists. Life is a constant factor, it never leaves, nor does it change. Life never dies. I am alive. I exist. I am here.
It feels so negative and it scares me to think that what I am feeling is real. Is this me? Am I that? I don’t want to be.
Somehow I know I’m not negativity, I am the observer of it. If I were negativity, I wouldn’t exist. I know I am life, I am presence because it is eternal. It is constant. Feelings, thoughts, they shift, they change, but I remain constant. My physically body changes, but I remain constant. Everything outside of me changes, but I remain constant. What exactly am I?
Pain varies, it takes different forms and strengths. Although peace is not created. Non-peace is created. When we stop creating non-peace, there is peace. Peace is constant. It is underneath every non-peace. Just like silence allows every sound to be. And space allows every object to be.
Searching for answers all the time. Every decision we make is for our freedom of suffering. How can I become free? I know there is nothing I need to reach or change to become free, because freedom simply is. Freedom is unlimited, there is no boundary, it is eternal.
Really and truly there is no point in suffering, you can find all answers in freedom, in life, in space, in silence, in peace. Freedom, life, peace, space, silence are the answers to everything. They are underlying everything. Underneath everything. The one constant factor. Factor unlimited.
Why suffer? To reach something, to receive something? Suffering limits you. Suffering is limited, suffering takes time. Maybe you suffer for a few minutes, hours, or months. Suffering contracts your whole being. It keeps you captive in the same old, or new, cycle.
Underneath all the suffering is peace unlimited. We are underneath the suffering because if we were the suffering we wouldn’t exist. We are unlimited. We are free. From this freedom, peace, life, space and silence, everything is created. Everything sense-perceived is created. We are underneath the senses, we observe them, if we were the senses we wouldn’t exist. We would be like walking skeletons.
If there were a walking skeleton, it would mean that life is inside him. But we don’t experience walking skeletons because the life is already outside of them. Now you may ask if there is such thing as life after death, or you may ask where the life has gone. But let me ask you this: Is life ever visible?
Life is invisible, there is nothing attached, nothing created. Life creates.
I was trying to find the perfect ending for this, but there is no perfect ending because something can always be added or taken away from this. This is not constant, it is an open ending. Unlike life, which is constant, unchangeable, unlimited and whole. And I am life. You are life. Constant.
Whenever something in my life happens or changes, I remain constant. Because I am life. Life remains unchanged. Therefore enlightened people are in oneness, whole and not influenced by changes in their lives. They have realized they are life. They are now in the state of their true nature, their truth. They now live as the constant which they are. Embodied in it. They are it. We are it too, only unrealized.
