Diary Entry 30 September 2020
It hurts so much!
I can’t do it anymore!
It feels like I’m at the end of the end!
It is so hard!
I am not ok!
I am so sad and feel alone!
Why am I so sad?
Why do I feel this way?
When will I be happy again?
I wish for a good partner, when is he coming?
I can’t do this anymore, when can I again?
I cry alone at night, find it so hard and it hurts so much to get up in the mornings!
I can’t talk to mom, it always gets worse.
When can I finally talk to someone about everything and feel comfortable.
I find school unimportant but am worried that I will get worse.
I feel like I’m at the end of the end!
I only want to watch ‘After’, lay on the ground and bawl.
What should I do?
Do home-schooling? That’s too much for mom and dad. They think I’ll manage the whole year. I think that’s shit. When I need a break, I need a break. I don’t know if home-schooling is better. I am confused. Can I not just be left alone from the stress and go to my fantasy-dream-place with my fantasy-dream-man?!!!
It is too much and I want to sleep and cry and not go to school anymore, watch the movie, have a boyfriend, think clearly, be happy and more…!
“Stay positive”
“It is just your thoughts”
“I thought you are managing it now”
“My lion”
“Don’t let yourself be taken over”
“You are not alone”
“Don’t give up, stay strong”
IT’S ENOUGH!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH
WHAT SHOULD I DO!?
